Paloma Aguilar says that her Big Brother 24 experience ate her alive. While many people saw her behavior as inexcusable, the star is at least talking about it and addressing it. And while she does drop some of the “I was edited to look bad” trope, she also owns some of it. She also talks about the toll being on Big Brother 24 took on her mentally. She may not be your favorite Big Brother character, but we commend her for talking about it, at least.

So Paloma Aguilar is ultimately defending her Big Brother 24 behavior but also explaining the why behind some of it. She opened up on her Instagram and took a moment to explain her side of things. Though people who end up on reality TV often want to be there, they don’t know the toll it’ll take until it happens to them.

Paloma Aguilar on Big Brother 24 Bullying Her (and her Bullying Back)

Via Us Weekly:

“FOMO consumed my every move,” she wrote in her lengthy post alongside a photo of the entire BB24 cast. “I would get 2-4 hours of sleep at night — no normal human could function off of (sleeping hours are 10 pm-10 am but everyone keeps each other up gaming), I did not see the sun for 5 days so I began to lose touch with reality.”

Some may say Paloma Aguilar learned nothing from her Big Brother 24 experience in the end, but the above admission takes strength. We admire anyone who can step back from the public eye and say, “that wasn’t the best me, for a multitude of reasons.” She is aware she was not shown in the best light but is aware part of that blame is on her.

No matter who you are on the social ladder that takes courage. Not everyone is built for that world.